Saturday, May 2, 2015

Inside The Mind Of An Evil Feline

Darth Jingles is three. Yay … All right, here’s the thing on that: she’s a brat, but she’s a full grown brat. We raised her from a tiny kitten, too small to even jump up on a bean bag or chair. She’s lived in our house almost her entire life, and mostly enjoyed being a spoiled only-cat. The youngest sibling, baby of the family, and so on.

That being said, I’m watching her wander around the family room ‘exploring’ like there’s anything left to explore in this house. Okay, she hasn’t been on top of the kitchen cabinets or in the attic. I think that’s it. Every nook and cranny of the basement and garage? Check. On top of the entertainment system, including speakers? Check. On top of each and every bookcase that doesn’t come close to meeting the ceiling because these are not standard height walls? Check. Inside bathroom cabinets and (I still cringe) the kitchen ones as well? Check. Pantry? Check. The gas fireplace is sealed, that isn’t happening. Dream on, cat.

It’s a tad irritating to walk into the family room, pass the fireplace, TV, Blu-ray, cat, shelves of DVDs, back up – the cat is sleeping on top of the Blu-ray? No. Get down. She’s good about not needing to be shooed away from places multiple times. I haven’t seen her on the Blu-ray since. Hubby chased her through the house after the kitchen countertop and dining room table incidents, no further problems. She’s allowed on the bathroom counters, but not kitchen and she knows the difference. We can leave a can of tuna up there and she won’t touch.

All that being said, it’s her house. The giant bean bag that fits three teenagers is hers. She sleeps in the middle of it and won’t move for anyone. If Jingles chooses to sleep on the living room sofa, so be it. Somehow she knows Mommy doesn’t like it if she sheds there, and keeps it to herself. That’s kind.
She has a basket in The Girl’s room on her bed. Another by the window in my room, and another in the living room. In The Boy’s room she has a shelf in front of the window with her own pillow and the entire top bunk of his bunk beds. Oh, and she has a kitty bed in the laundry room, because it had to go somewhere. That was before she staked out spots in every other room and we had this insane idea she’d sleep there. Silly humans.

Outside, Jingles has her glaring spot. We all know it by name, even many of the neighbors, and she can be found there when she’s upset with us or in the later afternoon. She likes to sit there and watch people come home from school, then work. She sits there, where she can see the cul de sac, quietly watching, judging, condemning.

Once darkness falls and the neighborhood is silent, she hides in the shadow of a bush and makes her family call to her. Always three times at least, she prefers four. Jingles listens for the irritation in the voice of the Great Furry One (Hubby – he has a beard) and decides if he’s game for one more round or if she should come this time. Sometimes she guesses wrong and she’s out for the night. Or she gets caught in a neighbor’s garage. Perhaps something interesting is more promising than a warm bed with her children. (The Great Furry One breaths loud, The Girl kicks, The Boy sneaks out of bed late at night to play video games, so a good night’s sleep at home isn’t guaranteed.)

Most of the time Jingles comes in for the night, it makes Mommy and her children happy. Kitty-Mommy gives her tuna, and Darth Jingles puts off her condemnation of us at least for another day.  I’m serious, the cat looks evil most of the time. We love her for it.

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